Doubt Is Normal
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Resource Recommendations to Help You Parent and Mentor Most Effectively
This Week's Recommendation:
“What Do We Do with Doubt?”
From The Gospel Coalition Podcast (A Conference Session with Michael J. Kruger)
June 23, 2023
Video Available Here
Also Available on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Etc.
Length: 40 Minutes
"You are not meeting the first objection [to Christianity] at your university in your freshman year; you are meeting the first objection the minute your parents give you the glowing rectangle. If they’re gonna give you the glowing rectangle, you’re gonna be introduced to every aspect of doubt that you can possibly imagine... Or somebody else is givin’ their friends a phone, so they’re gonna be exposed to it."
- J. Warner Wallace
Why It Matters:
In 40 minutes, Michael Kruger clearly and succinctly defines doubt, addresses two mistaken approaches to it, explores several causes of it, and lists healthy ways to deal with it. It’s very applicable to teens and is even worth listening to more than once.
The speaker’s own faith crisis began in college with a professor who presented challenges to Christianity that he had never heard and for which he didn’t have answers. Today, most teens are confronted with these challenges long before they get to college through YouTube and TikTok videos, as well as exposure to influencers and others who formerly professed to be Christians but have “deconstructed,” etc. While questioning what they’ve been taught is normal for teens, it’s happening at younger ages.
Whether you’re a parent, grandparent, or mentor, this podcast will help you shepherd them through it.
How to Use It
Let teens know that it’s ok to ask hard questions and to talk with you about their doubts.
Don’t ask, “Do you ever struggle with doubt?” Instead, assume they have doubts or at least questions, and make it safer for them to give a genuine response by asking, “What are some doubts or questions you currently have or have had in the past?”
Remember, doubt can lead to growth when it’s handled well. It’s easy for Christian adults to worry and even panic when teens doubt, which often results in unhelpful responses. Stay calm, let go of fear, listen well, take a long-term view, and engage in a two-way conversation rather than a one-way lecture.
Remind them that they’re not alone - there’s nothing they will ask that someone else hasn’t asked before.
Remind them not to assume that there aren’t good answers to their questions! As Kruger says, “I can’t tell you how many people have just never heard answers to the questions… Don’t confuse you not having an answer with there not being an answer.”
If you don’t have answers to their questions, offer to explore the topics with them and have an ongoing conversation.
Help them find resources (videos, podcasts, books, articles, etc.) that help answer their specific questions. If you’re not sure where to find good resources, ask someone else who might have suggestions.
When helpful and/or necessary, connect them with someone else. When Albert Mohler (now a well-known Christian leader and president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary) began having deep intellectual questions, his youth pastor introduced him to another youth pastor, who became hugely influential in his life. You don’t have to have all the answers.
When you’re talking with a doubting teen, explore the cause of their doubt. Is it genuine intellectual curiosity? Unrepentant sin? Suffering? Corruption and scandal in the church? A personal wound from one or more professing Christians? Last month when I wrote about porn, I shared about a 9th grade young man who said that he didn’t really remember much of his life before porn – “probably 3rd grade.” When he journaled with me on Monday, his journal was filled with doubts about Christianity, and he was very close to fully turning away from Christ. I responded to his questions as best as I could while also probing deeper. In his Tuesday journal, he opened up about his years of struggling with a porn addiction, which was the underlying issue that fueled his doubts. Doubt is rarely a standalone issue, so address both the intellectual questions and any underlying causes. (By the way, almost three years later, that young man still follows Christ and continues to mature in his faith.)
Encourage them to “doubt their doubts,” examining alternative beliefs with the same skepticism and examination that they’re giving Christianity.
Find Michael J. Kruger's Session on The Gospel Coalition Podcast HERE