The Key to Happiness
A Special Note...
Thanks for your generosity in helping us reach and exceed our Giving Tuesday and year-end goal! We greatly appreciate your partnership!
Happy New Year!
Worth Your Time!
Resource Recommendations to Help You Parent and Mentor Most Effectively
This Week's Recommendation:
“Author Talks: The world's longest study of adult development finds the key to happy living"
An Interview with Robert Waldinger, Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development
Read It Here
"The part that surprised us was that the people who were happiest, who stayed healthiest as they grew old, and who lived the longest were the people who had the warmest connections with other people. In fact, good relationships were the strongest predictor of who was going to be happy and healthy as they grew old."
Why It Matters:
We were designed for relationship with God and with people, so it shouldn't be a surprise that our relationships play a key role in our happiness. While the interview neglects the role of faith, it still provides important insights that are relevant to today's youth.
Most adults would say they hope the young people they know will live long, happy lives; however, many (if not most) of today's teens struggle with building the relationships with both peers and adults that are necessary for that to happen. Most of them also don't know or understand the long-term importance of those relationships and the consequences of neglecting them. If we want our hopes for the teens we care about to become reality, we ourselves must understand what really matters and help them prioritize those factors too.
How to Use It
Sometimes I'll ask students this question: "How many adults, other than family members and the "professionals" (teachers, youth pastors, coaches, etc.), do you feel like know you - they know your name, they know something about you, and they invest in you in some way?" The number one answer I receive? "Zero." You could ask the young people in your life that same question. You could also consider how you can change that answer for one or more young people in 2024! Who can you reach out to this week?
Waldinger is asked, "Can you get the same happiness from a meaningful career as from a meaningful relationship?" The short answer is no. Has that been communicated clearly, consistently, and repeatedly to the young people in your life? It contradicts the message they receive from most other places.
Ask teens how they envision their future (and why they envision it that way) and listen to their answers. Do their answers prioritize relationships, or do they prioritize degrees, jobs, experiences, and financial stability/success? This is a great opportunity to start a conversation!
Waldinger discusses the connection between stress and relationships. If a young person you know seems consistently stressed, explore whether their relationships (or lack thereof) are a factor.
There is a section titled, "What can people do to run their own ‘mini-Harvard study’ on themselves?" Waldinger gives several practical ideas and tips to build or strengthen relational connections, and this section could definitely help you help a young person!
Near the end, Waldinger says, "I’m going to state the obvious, but sometimes it needs to be stated - that nobody is happy all the time. No life is free of difficulty and challenge." Again, this could make a great topic for discussion! This generation generally expects to be happy all the time (it's the message communicated to them through social media, etc.), and they assume there's something wrong with them if they're not. As parents and mentors, we have an opportunity to share how unrealistic that view is as well as point them to the source of eternal joy and the place of unending happiness!
Read It Here