Help Teens Grieve

Worth Your Time!

Resource Recommendations to Help You Parent and Mentor Most Effectively


This Week's Recommendation:

"CPYU Parent Prompt: Grief"

Read It Here

"Now is the time to prepare your children and teens to face the various times of grief that are sure to visit them throughout the course of their lives... Everyone at some point will encounter grief either through losing a loved one, divorce, moving, etc."


Why It's Worth Your Time

As many of you know, we journal back and forth with a group of students during spiritual emphasis week. One of the most memorable journals last year was with a 10th grade young man who was depressed about losing his grandmother months earlier. Several years ago, we also journaled with a high school girl who lost a close friend to suicide a couple years before. She felt like everyone around her had moved forward, but she hadn't - and she didn't know how to.

Teens often look fine outwardly while struggling inwardly, and one of their common struggles is unresolved grief. This handout will help you help them.

 

How To Use It

CPYU's Parent Prompts are self-explanatory (and useful for anyone working with youth), but of course I have several extra thoughts haha...

Don't assume this Parent Prompt isn't relevant just because no one has died recently. Remember that grief can also be caused by divorce, moving, the loss of a friendship or romantic relationship, etc.

Remember that grief can be the root cause of other emotions and behaviors you may observe in youth. If you know a preteen/teen who is depressed, angry, anxious, making poor choices, etc., is it possible that the underlying cause is unresolved grief? Treat the cause, not just the symptom.

If you ask youth how they're doing with a loss, expect one word answers like "good" or "fine." Instead, ask open-ended questions like:

  • "What's been the hardest part about losing your grandpa?"

  • "What are you learning about life, God, and yourself through this breakup?"

  • "What has it been like for you to go back and forth between two homes?"

  • "What do you miss most about your old school/neighborhood?"

While these questions don't directly ask about grief, they will give you insights into how they're doing that can lead to further conversation.

Continue to check in on them months and maybe even years down the road. Grief is often a long-term process. Death ultimately usually has a sense of closure; however, grief over a divorce, a lost relationship with someone they still see every single day at school, the feeling that they don't have good friends like where they used to live, etc. can continue for years.

 

Read It Here

Next week I'll be speaking at a high school camp in Maine. Your prayers are appreciated!


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