Teens LIKE a Phone Break
Worth Your Time!
Resource Recommendations to Help You Parent and Mentor Most Effectively
I’m writing to you once again from Boys Camp at Camp Iroquoina in Hallstead, PA, where I’m speaking for two weeks. Your continued prayers are appreciated!
This seems like a good opportunity to share an important lesson I’ve learned through both camps and class trips: Teenagers actually APPRECIATE a break from their phones.
Yes, you read that correctly: They APPRECIATE it. They don’t think they will – weeping and gnashing of teeth often commences at the very suggestion of it – but in the end they are grateful. How do I know this?
Every year I lead a week-long 8th grade class trip with a no-phone policy. The first year I announced it, the glares (especially from the girls) nearly killed me - I barely escaped from that classroom with my life! At the end of every trip, though, nearly every hand goes up when I ask, “How many of you actually appreciated having a break from your phone?” Even the students who are most resistant raise their hands!
Each August I spend a week at a high school camp in Maine, which also has a no-phone policy. Campers receive their phones on Friday afternoon so they can take pictures with their friends before camp ends. Most adults wrongly assume there would be rejoicing and shouts of “Glory to wifi in the highest!” Instead, many campers have mixed feelings and several even have a sense of dread – after a week-long phone detox, they know exactly what it means to go back to constantly having them.
How To Give Them a Break
Parents:
This summer, consider extended opportunities – family vacations, a long weekend, etc. – when you require your preteen/teen to not use their phone – at all. Hold onto their phone for them, no matter how much they beg and promise they won’t use it. If they really won’t use it, then what’s the problem with you holding onto it?
Grandparents and Mentors:
Encourage the preteens/teens in your life to choose to take a break – and offer to do it with them.
Fill the void.
It may make sense to schedule these phone breaks when their time will already be filled with activities and people. If you schedule it for a time when they will become very bored very quickly and their phone has been their “default,” you will probably need to help them learn how to use their extra time. That can be a great opportunity too!
“But I need it to take pictures!”
Based on experience, this becomes unmanageable – it rarely stops with taking pictures. Hold the line. Let them know that if they want a picture, you or one of their friends can take a picture and send it to them.
Do it with them.
Parents often have other responsibilities that require using their phones, but minimize your own use as well during the scheduled break. If you must use it, show them what you’re doing on it: “I need to respond to my boss’ urgent email. See, I’m not scrolling Facebook!”
Consider regularly scheduling a break.
Whether it's one weekend a month, one weekend a quarter, one week a year, or some other interval, establish a routine where your teen occasionally gets a break from the pressure of their phone.
Yes, most preteens and teens will push back against this idea – some hard - but they really will survive. Many think they won't, and it's a great lesson when they realize they actually will. In the end, they’ll appreciate the break! It’s worth the fight!